Sunday, 8 March 2015

SPOTLIGHT SUNDAY: Deal With It

Hey guys!!

So at some point or another, we've all been told to deal with it and move on.
However that becomes infinitely more complex if you're dealing with depression or anxiety or anything similar.
So how do you do it?



I recently had the opportunity to turn my part-time job as a student into a full time job. It wasn't makeup related, I had to learn whole lot of new stuff, but it was a job and I would make a lot more money than I make working as a student.

It was probably the most stressful month of my life. There was a lot at stake for me, considering the fact that I would be able to leave school (that I pay for and get absolutely nothing in return) and help out at home.
I worked my ass off. It was a job in the sock department and I had to learn about different materials, product placement etc. and I had to learn most of it in three days.

I got rejected before I even got there.

I would be fine with getting rejected because I wasn't good enough, or they didn't like my personality or whatever. But them changing their mind about hiring anyone within 24hrs... It broke me.
I'm not one to show my feelings in public, especially in the work place, but every single person in that office could see I was on the verge of tears.

I basically ran to the toilet and sobbed hysterically for about 5 minutes. Then I pulled myself together, buried myself in work and tried not to think about it.

When I came home I sat in complete silence, staring at the wall, my brain going about 47689 miles an hour. I felt rejected, useless, inadequate and basically good for nothing.
Which made absolutely no sense, because I wasn't rejected, they simply decided to not hire anyone.

So I took a deep breath and focused on the positive. I still had my job as a student, I had my blog and youtube channel, my friends were there for me and there will be a million other opportunities (I'm only 20 for f**k's sake!).

What happened that day was completely beyond my control. I worked hard for something that never came around, but I kinda have the feeling that's a very common part of life.
And if there's one thing I've learned through the years of depression and anxiety, it's that obsessing, stressing and worrying about something that you cannot control is the biggest waste of energy. Why burden yourself with something you can't do anything about? And if you can do something about it, then you don't have to worry about it, you just have to do it.

I felt a ton lighter and I actually got a good night's sleep for a change.


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Talk to you soon! x

Smile! Teeth are always in style ;)
- dr. Seuss

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